Speaking Klingon

I've been trying to teach myself Russian, through books and tapes at first, and now through the famous "Rosetta Stone" program that I can get for free on-line through an International Affairs division at the Pentagon. The book was the most helpful, because it showed me how to pronounce the 33 letters of the cyrillic alphabet. So before I can learn what words mean, I can at least learn how to say them, i.e., how to read a map, a building sign, a bottle.

I've had this tape for eighteen years. I never knew it read, "Concert."
I was listening to the basic Russian on tape in the car, talking back to the narrator, when I noticed someone in the car next to mine staring at me. Oh, stop looking at me, I know I look like a dork, why don't you just mind your own bus--Jayson!
Turned out it was the guy who sat next to me in class in Norfolk for ten weeks. He's stationed nearby. Small interstate road system.
I am not impressed with the Rosetta Stone. Through repetition, you are meant to click on pictures of random objects after you listen to the word said, without knowing what the word actually means. And while I was hoping to learn numbers, days of the week, basic greetings, etc., one of the first phrases on there was "a woman and a horse." This was after the words for "ball" and "elephant." Not so much helpful in the world of ICBM reduction operations. "Would you like to inspect our missiles?" "No, but I would love to show you my elephant."