Merchants Awake

Dear Corporate Waitstaff Representatives Of America,

I have been reading since I was gor' near three. Depending on whose story you believe, either my brother taught me or I was just bored (it was South Dakota).
I read from left to right, top to bottom.
I dine at your establishment. You give me the check. I scan it for accuracy. I give you a credit card. You go away.
You come back with two pieces of paper.
I read the total for accuracy, I compute the tip, I fill in the tip, I fill in the total, I sign on the line. Top to bottom.

If the next thing on there reads "Customer Copy", guess what.

Your fault.

You have just wasted thirty-eight seconds of my life. I have to fill in everything again on "Merchant's Copy."

Guess whose tip wasn't calculated exactly the same?

Well, yours was because my wife makes me but OOOH is that same amount written with disdained ink.

All Ya Godda Do, People, is give me the right copy up top. Thank you and go soak your feet.