I just want to burn stuff
A month ago we had our fireplace insert removed. We now have a fireplace-shaped hole in our house that goes all the way up to this new-fangled top o' the chimney criss-cross metal flue thing.
We have a long chain.
Because Ainsley is experienced with this sort of thing, she suggested putting something in front of the hole so the cats wouldn't climb up the chimney. I thought that was ridiculous until Tucker immediately stood up in there, exploring.
So, while we've shopped for a firescreen, we've had a wooden bar door sitting sideways in front of the fireplace.
With throw pillows in front. We're not philistines.
A couple weeks ago we found one we like on Plow & Hearth, and we finally ordered it a week ago Sunday.
It showed up broken. Not worthy of sticking in front of a plow, let alone on our Hearth.
No biggie, call the company, get a replacement ordered.
Two days later another one arrived. Broken.
Slight biggie, but call the company, ask them if anyone is actually looking at these things, OH SURE WE DEFINITELY WILL THIS TIME YOU BETCHA.
Five days later. Good. Someone actually cared enough. "Q/A" written in red on the side. Taped very well, styrofoam in place, yippee.
But broken. In same place. Clip missing behind a window.
E
Called the company. "Nicole" put me on hold for ten minutes. Hung up on them.
Called the company. very bad line to Bangalore or wherever. Heard 'hold on', then beeps.
Called the company. No one answered, I was put in a cue.
Called the company. Put on hold for seven minutes. Call Waiting beeped, it was Plow & Hearth. Tried to answer it, hung up on them instead.
Called the company. Explained it was my fifth call in thirty minutes. (All the while feeding the dogs, cleaning up after my son, throwing the football back and forth while he sported his new Redskins helmet, and reading him a story naked on the potty.) Call waiting beeped, it was Plow & Hearth, I found the flash button, it was Nicole. She said 'corporate' was going to contact me tomorrow, and ensured me that they would personally select a working firescreen. I told them not to bother. I have three broken ones sitting in the garage awaiting UPS return labels. We can barely park the car. No. Thanks for nothing. Or a lot of broken somethings.
Fortunately we're in a "One-Day Warm Wave", so we're not exactly pining away for a warm fire.
Just yet.
We have a long chain.
Because Ainsley is experienced with this sort of thing, she suggested putting something in front of the hole so the cats wouldn't climb up the chimney. I thought that was ridiculous until Tucker immediately stood up in there, exploring.
So, while we've shopped for a firescreen, we've had a wooden bar door sitting sideways in front of the fireplace.
With throw pillows in front. We're not philistines.
A couple weeks ago we found one we like on Plow & Hearth, and we finally ordered it a week ago Sunday.
It showed up broken. Not worthy of sticking in front of a plow, let alone on our Hearth.
No biggie, call the company, get a replacement ordered.
Two days later another one arrived. Broken.
Slight biggie, but call the company, ask them if anyone is actually looking at these things, OH SURE WE DEFINITELY WILL THIS TIME YOU BETCHA.
Five days later. Good. Someone actually cared enough. "Q/A" written in red on the side. Taped very well, styrofoam in place, yippee.
But broken. In same place. Clip missing behind a window.
E
Called the company. "Nicole" put me on hold for ten minutes. Hung up on them.
Called the company. very bad line to Bangalore or wherever. Heard 'hold on', then beeps.
Called the company. No one answered, I was put in a cue.
Called the company. Put on hold for seven minutes. Call Waiting beeped, it was Plow & Hearth. Tried to answer it, hung up on them instead.
Called the company. Explained it was my fifth call in thirty minutes. (All the while feeding the dogs, cleaning up after my son, throwing the football back and forth while he sported his new Redskins helmet, and reading him a story naked on the potty.) Call waiting beeped, it was Plow & Hearth, I found the flash button, it was Nicole. She said 'corporate' was going to contact me tomorrow, and ensured me that they would personally select a working firescreen. I told them not to bother. I have three broken ones sitting in the garage awaiting UPS return labels. We can barely park the car. No. Thanks for nothing. Or a lot of broken somethings.
Fortunately we're in a "One-Day Warm Wave", so we're not exactly pining away for a warm fire.
Just yet.
posted by Dan at 9:58 PM
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