I do NOT have amoebic dysentery

While planning for the forced capitulation of the Algerian invasive bastards all week, on Tuesday the instructor told me that I was going to be sick on Thursday.
"Really?"
"Yep."
"...I am feeling a little rumbly in the tumbly."
"Good. Play it up."
Turns out they just wanted to give someone else a shot at running the show, but starting Tuesday afternoon and all through Wednesday, I started holding my abdomen, first lightly rubbing it, then occasionally doubling over in pain. I would randomly tell members of the staff I might have amoebic dysentery from some bad cous-cous, that my colon was on fire, or that I might require a colonectopy later in the week. Which I thought was sufficiently ridiculous and silly, but over the last two days, on separate occasions, no less than 8 people have asked me if I'm feeling better. Even after this morning, when the new commander told everyone to pretend I wasn't there because I was 'at the hospital.'
Silly folks.
They're so cute.