There's Only One Way To Pickle
I think the whole point of having kids is to see what funny things you can get them to say. Though 'What the fluke' is still my favorite.
Sorry for the long Bermuda Blogangle. If you get me. Which a lot of people don't. Lady asked me if there was anything she needed to report at staff meeting, and I said "nowt." She had to look it up. Who knew the first definition was "cow"? Besides my mom, probably, being british and farm-bred.
Anyhoo, busy week. Went to bed at 1 am the last two nights. Gimme a second to ponder and cap again.
17 March: Wore green. Though I usually do, with my comfy AF pajamas. Used shillelagh in a sentence in a threatening e-mail to a coworker. Most everyone in the office was TDY, so I was defaulty in charge all week. Zero confirmed deaths.
19 March: Took Ryan to the mall to buy me a supporter for my athletic. He finickially refused to eat exactly the same meal he devoured last Friday from the Petra Grill, so I dragged him home and fed him applesauce while he was taking a bath. Let's hope he doesn't always expect such curb-side service.
20 March: Spent the afternoon traveling to and from the State Department for an interagency meeting on the Black Sea. Did not bring up my travels in the region circa 1975. The other DoD speaker in the room went about 12 minutes over his allotted 3 minutes, so I felt the need to cede my time to the next speaker. Ever the diplomat.
21 March: Valium, Percocet, and outpatient surgery. Let's just say it'll make a VASt DIFFERENCE in our lives. Watched "Live Free or Die Hard" in a drug-enduced stupor before going to pick up my car from its 20,000 mile check-up and picking up half our pizza order since Papa John's employees apparently can't tell the difference between green peppers and banana peppers so I had to drive to a nearby Subway to get the spouza a veggie sub to bring home and see how Ryan reacted to my new Blue Man Group DVD. He danced. A lot.
22 March: Slept for 11 hours, thanks to the most amazing wife a guy could ask for. Though I guess she deals with two kids in the early morning hours most days, it still warmed my cockles that she let me sleep in.
23 March: Awoke to three Easter baskets, lovingly and amazingly how the hell does she find the timingly prepared by Mommy. Erin got a lot of infant medicine and Cinderella the movie. Ryan got toothbrushes with cars on the end. I got malt balls. Walked the dogs with Dad, then tried to put Ryan down so I could work on a computer project for Ainsley, but he wouldn't snooze. So we walked around the back yard and picked up sticks and threw toys for the dogs and climbed up the tree house steps to find acorns and let Mommy and Erin sleep for a spell. Got a warm and tingly feeling with Ryan just grabbing my hand and walking around, knowing I'm there for him. So for the second straight weekend, he was an unnapped mofo for a dinner at the Boivins', with Miss Kelly joining us and Erin in Easter Outfit #2 (the one without the bunny feet). Dad carried her around on the Baby Bjorn to let Ainsley eat, Ryan enjoyed some ham, and we only had one meltdown when, to quote our boy, "Chlo-*hhhh*-hee-*hhh*-barkt-*hhh*-at-*hhh*-Wyan!" Some day, dog.
24 March: A long day at work, then a longer night at home, with Ryan doing a near-faceplant off the couch while taking a swan dive onto the cushions, which he suddenly realized were awful "bouncy". Luckily, the throw rug and coffee table broke his fall. Up the rest of the eve with a non-cooperative "Movie Maker" program until I gave up at 12:30, my churning creative cranium coupled with a corvette-esque cat keeping me awake past 1.
25 March: A longer day at work, where I not only got my boss in trouble, but also had to endure a half-hour in the dental hygienist chair, drilling my brain, and flossing me as if I were a mental patient she was trying to strap down into a gurney, twisting my head back and forth. "Do this for three straight days and it won't hurt anymore," she offered. Sure, since I'll be dead.
Took Ryan to Basketball Theme Night at the Silver Diner, where I enjoyed an entire meal while standing up, rocking Erin back and forth, letting her check out the doo-wop videos on the TV. She was awesome with me for over a half hour, letting Ainsley and Ryan eat together for a small break in the action. There was a face-painter there, so we asked her to put a smiley face on Ryan's cheek. Odd that she can make entire elaborate tiger faces, but ask her to do a yellow circle with three dots and a curve, and it looks like a scarecrow got pegged with napalm. Oh, well. He was happy.
Sorry for the long Bermuda Blogangle. If you get me. Which a lot of people don't. Lady asked me if there was anything she needed to report at staff meeting, and I said "nowt." She had to look it up. Who knew the first definition was "cow"? Besides my mom, probably, being british and farm-bred.
Anyhoo, busy week. Went to bed at 1 am the last two nights. Gimme a second to ponder and cap again.
17 March: Wore green. Though I usually do, with my comfy AF pajamas. Used shillelagh in a sentence in a threatening e-mail to a coworker. Most everyone in the office was TDY, so I was defaulty in charge all week. Zero confirmed deaths.
19 March: Took Ryan to the mall to buy me a supporter for my athletic. He finickially refused to eat exactly the same meal he devoured last Friday from the Petra Grill, so I dragged him home and fed him applesauce while he was taking a bath. Let's hope he doesn't always expect such curb-side service.
20 March: Spent the afternoon traveling to and from the State Department for an interagency meeting on the Black Sea. Did not bring up my travels in the region circa 1975. The other DoD speaker in the room went about 12 minutes over his allotted 3 minutes, so I felt the need to cede my time to the next speaker. Ever the diplomat.
21 March: Valium, Percocet, and outpatient surgery. Let's just say it'll make a VASt DIFFERENCE in our lives. Watched "Live Free or Die Hard" in a drug-enduced stupor before going to pick up my car from its 20,000 mile check-up and picking up half our pizza order since Papa John's employees apparently can't tell the difference between green peppers and banana peppers so I had to drive to a nearby Subway to get the spouza a veggie sub to bring home and see how Ryan reacted to my new Blue Man Group DVD. He danced. A lot.
22 March: Slept for 11 hours, thanks to the most amazing wife a guy could ask for. Though I guess she deals with two kids in the early morning hours most days, it still warmed my cockles that she let me sleep in.
23 March: Awoke to three Easter baskets, lovingly and amazingly how the hell does she find the timingly prepared by Mommy. Erin got a lot of infant medicine and Cinderella the movie. Ryan got toothbrushes with cars on the end. I got malt balls. Walked the dogs with Dad, then tried to put Ryan down so I could work on a computer project for Ainsley, but he wouldn't snooze. So we walked around the back yard and picked up sticks and threw toys for the dogs and climbed up the tree house steps to find acorns and let Mommy and Erin sleep for a spell. Got a warm and tingly feeling with Ryan just grabbing my hand and walking around, knowing I'm there for him. So for the second straight weekend, he was an unnapped mofo for a dinner at the Boivins', with Miss Kelly joining us and Erin in Easter Outfit #2 (the one without the bunny feet). Dad carried her around on the Baby Bjorn to let Ainsley eat, Ryan enjoyed some ham, and we only had one meltdown when, to quote our boy, "Chlo-*hhhh*-hee-*hhh*-barkt-*hhh*-at-*hhh*-Wyan!" Some day, dog.
24 March: A long day at work, then a longer night at home, with Ryan doing a near-faceplant off the couch while taking a swan dive onto the cushions, which he suddenly realized were awful "bouncy". Luckily, the throw rug and coffee table broke his fall. Up the rest of the eve with a non-cooperative "Movie Maker" program until I gave up at 12:30, my churning creative cranium coupled with a corvette-esque cat keeping me awake past 1.
25 March: A longer day at work, where I not only got my boss in trouble, but also had to endure a half-hour in the dental hygienist chair, drilling my brain, and flossing me as if I were a mental patient she was trying to strap down into a gurney, twisting my head back and forth. "Do this for three straight days and it won't hurt anymore," she offered. Sure, since I'll be dead.
Took Ryan to Basketball Theme Night at the Silver Diner, where I enjoyed an entire meal while standing up, rocking Erin back and forth, letting her check out the doo-wop videos on the TV. She was awesome with me for over a half hour, letting Ainsley and Ryan eat together for a small break in the action. There was a face-painter there, so we asked her to put a smiley face on Ryan's cheek. Odd that she can make entire elaborate tiger faces, but ask her to do a yellow circle with three dots and a curve, and it looks like a scarecrow got pegged with napalm. Oh, well. He was happy.
posted by Dan at 9:06 PM
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