Bringing the Mountain to Mohammed

I have a million things to do in the next two weeks. I was stuck at the library most of yesterday, so I knew I wouldn't get a chance to get down to the humane society. Which was probably for the best, since it was cold and wet and snowy. However, a guy's gotta eat.
Driving to Restaurant Row just off base, the Gods of Volunteerism intervened, as I saw a black lab darting through traffic. I was actually worried that it had been hit, it was running so fast. I was able to follow it, and as she crossed an intersection, sniffing cars, I pulled over and whistled at it, and she came right up to me, jumping up to my window. I got out of the car, and she rolled onto her back, whimpering, but apparently unhurt. I coaxed her into my car, but then noticed she had recently rolled in some excrecetory organic matter, so I tried to clean wipe that off her with some napkins and papers I had in the front seat. So I had a wet, stanky, licky dog to take care of.
I called the Humane Society, but they said they don't take strays. (!) They gave me the number for animal control, and after four more phone calls, I found the right location to take my new passenger.
I'm off to go buy a car deodorizer.