Bed, Bath, and Beyond the broken nose
Besides the furniture delivery that was 67% defective, Ryan catching the bottom of the bathtub with his face and Griffin playing headbutt with my dad's nose, it was a wonderful weekend.
My son is so fat and healthy he has extra folds in his arms and thighs, and his belly button is eight inches wide. But his smile still melts a candle, and his teething didn't seem to be bothering him as much this trip. My wife told me he's being much more interactive these days, but of course he then proceeded to stare at the lampshade for three straight minutes.
He also needs to take some sex ed classes but quick; I have a hickey in my right bicep from him trying to extract some milk, and one afternoon, after Ainsley got out of the shower and found him fussing with me to beat the band, I handed him over to her and her luftbaloons; immediately satiated, he glared at me under furrowed brow, and I said, "Don't look at me like that -- I Don't Have Those!"
Of course, the real Future Counseling Session Revealing Moment Under Hypnosis will be him remembering me letting him slip out of my grip while rinsing him off in the bathtub; he fell about a foot onto his forehead, face, and shoulder, and that's just about the worst feeling ever ever in the entire universe ever. Fortunately, he wasn't bruised or bleeding or marked up at all, and when I called child services to turn myself in, they just laughed and called me a Potsie and told me to sit on something. We'll just see if he ends up with a lisp or can't do the bugaloo or turns out left-handed or something weird like that.
My father is faring equally well with his run-in with the block of cement that is my largest dog's noggin, overly excited about the prospect of Grandad picking up his leash and wanting to show him precisely where it belonged and just how immediately it belonged there.
The bleeding stopped after a few minutes.
All told, despite the mini-tragicomedies, it was truly a fantastic weekend, helped by the fact that we really didn't have anywhere to go and could just hang out and be home and a family for three long glorious nights.
Oh, and the cat threw up on the bed this morning at 4:30.
My son is so fat and healthy he has extra folds in his arms and thighs, and his belly button is eight inches wide. But his smile still melts a candle, and his teething didn't seem to be bothering him as much this trip. My wife told me he's being much more interactive these days, but of course he then proceeded to stare at the lampshade for three straight minutes.
He also needs to take some sex ed classes but quick; I have a hickey in my right bicep from him trying to extract some milk, and one afternoon, after Ainsley got out of the shower and found him fussing with me to beat the band, I handed him over to her and her luftbaloons; immediately satiated, he glared at me under furrowed brow, and I said, "Don't look at me like that -- I Don't Have Those!"
Of course, the real Future Counseling Session Revealing Moment Under Hypnosis will be him remembering me letting him slip out of my grip while rinsing him off in the bathtub; he fell about a foot onto his forehead, face, and shoulder, and that's just about the worst feeling ever ever in the entire universe ever. Fortunately, he wasn't bruised or bleeding or marked up at all, and when I called child services to turn myself in, they just laughed and called me a Potsie and told me to sit on something. We'll just see if he ends up with a lisp or can't do the bugaloo or turns out left-handed or something weird like that.
My father is faring equally well with his run-in with the block of cement that is my largest dog's noggin, overly excited about the prospect of Grandad picking up his leash and wanting to show him precisely where it belonged and just how immediately it belonged there.
The bleeding stopped after a few minutes.
All told, despite the mini-tragicomedies, it was truly a fantastic weekend, helped by the fact that we really didn't have anywhere to go and could just hang out and be home and a family for three long glorious nights.
Oh, and the cat threw up on the bed this morning at 4:30.
posted by Dan at 8:56 PM
8 Comments:
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