Why Freud Wouldn't Have Worked on CNN

For whatever reason, when I turn my television on, no matter what I was watching when I turned it off the night before, Channel 8 (CNN) appears. Strangely, I've heard the exact same thing the last three mornings as the box hummed to life: "...and rockets continue to rain down on Haifa..."

But since we do "current events" first thing in class every morning, I try to stay ...uh... current. I even watched a Wolf Blitzer interview with former Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanhooray last night, and in class today I was relaying some of the more salient points of the conflict in Lebanon. Serious, pointed, fingers folded when not stressing a point, I orated William Jennings Bryan-like, striking the right solemn tone, until someone pointed out that I had actually said:

"...and yet the Hezbollah are hiding their missiles among the Lesbian people."