Number 1 can't go Number 2
I was off by an hour in my previous calculation -- day one as the Acting Executive Officer for the Director (3-star General civilian equivalent) was 13 hours, not 12. And a comedy of errors at that.
Blackberry Follies I
Started out trying in vain for two hours to get a blackberry (the only approved wireless communication system allowed) so I could be contactable and make calls while we went to the Pentagon later in the morning, but the techie could not be found. At the last minute, I borrowed the Executive Assistant's, while the Director was waiting for me to put on a coat, then realized I'd never used a blackberry before in my life. Figured it out fairly quickly, but then couldn't get her password she hurredly told me to work, so I couldn't call the driver when we were done with his meeting. He gave me his phone, but call after call failed. Then he gave me his blackberry, a different type, but as I was fiddling with it, the driver pulled up, as he had seen us flailing away while looking out at the parking lot.
The job is just basically ferrying the Director from one meeting to the next, though I was able to get him a hot dog and onion rings, too. Arguably the highlight of my day.
A late Secure VTC started even later, since the retired Ambassador was late from an extended stay with the Secretary of State...and these just aren't the type of meetings I went to when I was in my old branch. Fascinating stuff, seeing things from the top. I'm sure if I were really The Man, I'd be given more to do, but right now the secretary takes care of the schedule, he has staff to work correspondence and briefings, and I just knock on his door and tell him when he's running behind.
Running Behind
Tuesday I learned to not ever drink anything ever. Because time to go the bathroom is not in the schedule, especially when meetings run over, causing the next ones to run over, and so on. It also doesn't help to lean against the room's VTC and lighting controls in the middle of a conversation with a Navy Captain up at Minot, causing the room to go black, the screens to come down, then up, then down, then up, as I try to figure out what the hell I did and the Senior Staff members mercifully laugh in my direction (apparently the actual Exec has done that a few times, too). I later opened the doors to the wrong conference room, then took three tries to get a 3-way call established with a member of OSD. The Director shrugged it all off, an affable fellow, realizing I'm new. Though that won't last forever.
I finally got my blackberry and some remedial training, and even though the boss was supposed to be done at 4:30, he was behind closed doors past 6:15. Ainsley is amazingly supportive, probably helped by the fact that this is a one-week thing (though they asked me to stay for two; I declined). Home a little after 7, where Ryan greeted me without his Mommy having heard me. He said "Hell-ooo!" and grabbed my travel tea mug, as he does, and Ainsley said from the kitchen, "Are you looking for Daddy?" He held up my tea mug: "Found him!"
Touched by a Dick
Had to get up at 4:45 to leave by 5:30 to meet the driver to then go get the boss at his residence by 7:00, then drive out west towards Dulles for an all-day conference on Counterproliferation and Defense In Depth for combating WMD, for which the Director was a principal guest speaker. Cool to hang out with a VIP, getting met by Colonels and security, being whisked through lines, front row seats. I dutifully placed my blackberry in the appropriate shelves, a sticky note with my name on it, then returned to stand approx. 2.3 yards behind the Director in case he needed anything, which basically amounted to me holding his stuff while he used the John. There was a problem with my registration, so I was away from him for two seconds while they got me a nametag, and when I caught up with him again, he was walking in with Senator Richard Lugar (R-Indiana), who was nice enough to shake my hand. We were running behind (BLOW ME DOWN!), so I couldn't even tell him I went to Indiana University, which I'm sure would have made him enormously proud.
The Senator read a prepared speech then answered some questions, then took off. The Director was next, who spoke extemporaneously for forty minutes. Very impressive. We then had a thirty minute break, though the Director didn't get out of the auditorium for the first 20, since people wanted to come up and ask more questions, or he had to chat with old friends. I finally broke away to go check blackberry messages...and it was gone.
No. 142 cellphones, blackberries, and pagers, and mine is the one missing? I look again. Every empty slot, every other piece with someone else's name on it, and no Gottrich blackberry.
I notified the front desk, and then checked again at lunch, and ... nothing. Someone walked out with it.
I'm blaming Senator Lugar.
The Director changed his mind a fourth time and left the conference at lunch, which meant he had a free afternoon to check e-mails I'd sent him two days ago, and I actually got to drive home when it was light out still (after stopping at Ford for 30 minutes to get a nail taken out of one of my tires).
I come home to Ryan, who now knows how to spell "Daddy" and "Erin". And can read the letters in his Washington Redskins bowl, albeit backwards, and instead of "T", he says "Tie". Since that's what T is for. And what Grandad wears. Besides his moustache.
Also a shirt and pants, in case I've lost any of you.
Blackberry Follies I
Started out trying in vain for two hours to get a blackberry (the only approved wireless communication system allowed) so I could be contactable and make calls while we went to the Pentagon later in the morning, but the techie could not be found. At the last minute, I borrowed the Executive Assistant's, while the Director was waiting for me to put on a coat, then realized I'd never used a blackberry before in my life. Figured it out fairly quickly, but then couldn't get her password she hurredly told me to work, so I couldn't call the driver when we were done with his meeting. He gave me his phone, but call after call failed. Then he gave me his blackberry, a different type, but as I was fiddling with it, the driver pulled up, as he had seen us flailing away while looking out at the parking lot.
The job is just basically ferrying the Director from one meeting to the next, though I was able to get him a hot dog and onion rings, too. Arguably the highlight of my day.
A late Secure VTC started even later, since the retired Ambassador was late from an extended stay with the Secretary of State...and these just aren't the type of meetings I went to when I was in my old branch. Fascinating stuff, seeing things from the top. I'm sure if I were really The Man, I'd be given more to do, but right now the secretary takes care of the schedule, he has staff to work correspondence and briefings, and I just knock on his door and tell him when he's running behind.
Running Behind
Tuesday I learned to not ever drink anything ever. Because time to go the bathroom is not in the schedule, especially when meetings run over, causing the next ones to run over, and so on. It also doesn't help to lean against the room's VTC and lighting controls in the middle of a conversation with a Navy Captain up at Minot, causing the room to go black, the screens to come down, then up, then down, then up, as I try to figure out what the hell I did and the Senior Staff members mercifully laugh in my direction (apparently the actual Exec has done that a few times, too). I later opened the doors to the wrong conference room, then took three tries to get a 3-way call established with a member of OSD. The Director shrugged it all off, an affable fellow, realizing I'm new. Though that won't last forever.
I finally got my blackberry and some remedial training, and even though the boss was supposed to be done at 4:30, he was behind closed doors past 6:15. Ainsley is amazingly supportive, probably helped by the fact that this is a one-week thing (though they asked me to stay for two; I declined). Home a little after 7, where Ryan greeted me without his Mommy having heard me. He said "Hell-ooo!" and grabbed my travel tea mug, as he does, and Ainsley said from the kitchen, "Are you looking for Daddy?" He held up my tea mug: "Found him!"
Touched by a Dick
Had to get up at 4:45 to leave by 5:30 to meet the driver to then go get the boss at his residence by 7:00, then drive out west towards Dulles for an all-day conference on Counterproliferation and Defense In Depth for combating WMD, for which the Director was a principal guest speaker. Cool to hang out with a VIP, getting met by Colonels and security, being whisked through lines, front row seats. I dutifully placed my blackberry in the appropriate shelves, a sticky note with my name on it, then returned to stand approx. 2.3 yards behind the Director in case he needed anything, which basically amounted to me holding his stuff while he used the John. There was a problem with my registration, so I was away from him for two seconds while they got me a nametag, and when I caught up with him again, he was walking in with Senator Richard Lugar (R-Indiana), who was nice enough to shake my hand. We were running behind (BLOW ME DOWN!), so I couldn't even tell him I went to Indiana University, which I'm sure would have made him enormously proud.
The Senator read a prepared speech then answered some questions, then took off. The Director was next, who spoke extemporaneously for forty minutes. Very impressive. We then had a thirty minute break, though the Director didn't get out of the auditorium for the first 20, since people wanted to come up and ask more questions, or he had to chat with old friends. I finally broke away to go check blackberry messages...and it was gone.
No. 142 cellphones, blackberries, and pagers, and mine is the one missing? I look again. Every empty slot, every other piece with someone else's name on it, and no Gottrich blackberry.
I notified the front desk, and then checked again at lunch, and ... nothing. Someone walked out with it.
I'm blaming Senator Lugar.
The Director changed his mind a fourth time and left the conference at lunch, which meant he had a free afternoon to check e-mails I'd sent him two days ago, and I actually got to drive home when it was light out still (after stopping at Ford for 30 minutes to get a nail taken out of one of my tires).
I come home to Ryan, who now knows how to spell "Daddy" and "Erin". And can read the letters in his Washington Redskins bowl, albeit backwards, and instead of "T", he says "Tie". Since that's what T is for. And what Grandad wears. Besides his moustache.
Also a shirt and pants, in case I've lost any of you.
posted by Dan at 10:29 PM
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