Just Say No to Tootsie Rolls

So Erin could just about eat her weight in mashed potatoes. And what the perfect food for someone just starting to be able to use a fork by herself. And doesn't mind a spud goatee.

Still no luck on the de-pull-up-ing of our son. He's getting too long for the changing table, we tell him. He's going to have to learn before he goes to college, we tell him. He can't play with the Big Ass Rescue Hero Jeep until he does, we tell him. He's even got me saying brilliant things like "Poop now, or forever hold your pee."

Speaking of brilliant things to tell your 3-year-old, the other day Ryan let himself out the front door while Ainsley and I were upstairs. We heard the door, so I ran down, toothbrush still in mouth, to call him back inside from the driveway. Started right in with one of the happy admonishment speeches, where you try to be forceful, but not angry, to make sure it sinks in. "Ryan," it begins, "please PLEASE don't walk out the front door if Mommy and Daddy aren't here. We'd be very sad if we couldn't find you. And someone could..."
(I didn't want to scare him at this point and say that someone could snatch him up, so I shifted, mid-sentence.)
"be out there that doesn't know you, and they could offer you candy, or you could fall down and get hurt and we wouldn't know, or you might get lost! We don't want you to get lost. So that's a big no-no, okay? No opening the door without Mommy and Daddy. Do you understand?"

*thinkthinkthink*

"Who wants to give me candy?"